Joe,

Hope you caught, or read, Powell's thoughtful explanation of why he is voting for Obama.   He achieved what I sometimes try to do, which is deciding on my decision on issues without having to either publicly or, more important, internally simplify the question into good and evil, right or wrong, black or white.

Partisanship, and it's father, the culture wars, can easily be the instrument of hostility that can get out of control.  And it comes from both sides of the aisle, no matter who started it. I could not bring myself to play tennis with P.  on Saturday, his comment of many months ago, that this is , in fact, a Christian nation, becoming more intolerable right now.

If you noticed one issue I never have spoken about is Prop 8 (to reverse court decision making Same Sex Marriage legal in California).  You made an offhand comment on Saturday relating to it.  I took it to mean that while you are against the proposition (pro SS marriage), you are conflicted, as indicated in these words: "I don't even want to think about how it applies to men."

And there is a difference.  We can more easily accept lesbian relationships, and not only because of our recently married friends, but our culture sees women as more passive and in need of protection.  Sure this is a residue of not that long ago when women had few rights and were actually treated legally as children.   There is another aspect of this issue that is rarely discussed.

Legalization of marriage also changes the cultural norms among men; and I take your comment to mean that you are uncomfortable with the legitimization of courtship of one man of another, which follows from this proposition.   And so am I.  Legalization of same sex marriage is not so much a danger  to the institution of marriage, as it is to the institution of male friendship.  

I say this not because the effect will be universal, but it will exist.  Men relate to other men in a way that is different than how women relate to other women.   Aggression, challenge, even anger is integrated into the male interaction, in fact, without it, there is a kind of emptiness.  This probably is so ingrained, so basic, that this same pattern is found among our primate cousins. 

And the taboo,  the restriction of inter male sexuality, is a codification of these cultural limitations.  The Prop 8 advocates overstated the issue when they claimed that churches would be required to sanctify such marriages, but they were on target about the norm of same sex marriage being taught to children in public schools.  This is a profound societal change that is being treated as just another front in the culture wars, like phonics, flag burning and funding for faith based charities.

This general election is taking its toll on me, with the added stress of an economy that thrusts investment decisions into my daily consciousness.   The deep pot of existence, of decisions long  ago taken, regretted, and repressed is now daily being stirred anew.  My new neighborhood, a friendly cul de sac, that I could imagine was a small village, is now bedecked with signage of political contention, fracturing that illusion. 

Does my not having a sign on our lawn imply passive acceptance of those messages of the lawn next door,  that I accept McCains position that denies a woman the right to choose, or worse, Palin's position  that a raped girl must bear the unwanted child.  Yet, I won't do politics by lawn signs, or bumper stickers, or even slogans.

I guess this is why watching Collin Powell was such a pleasure, as he refused to be drawn into that way of thinking also.   And that's why I'm posting this letter to this site.

Al