This is a strange subject to be my first SwordsCrossed diary... but so be it.

The current "Second Life" craze sweeping through SwordsCrossed has been very amusing to me.

You see... I joined Second Life more than a year and a half ago. In that year and a half, my relationship with "SL" has been an off and on love affair.

When I joined in October of 2005, I created a male avatar and went about exploring my new universe.

One thing I found as I began to travel around was that there was definitely a difference in how the various types of avatars were treated.

The avatar types can be broken down into 5 basic classes:

• "furries"... cartoonish in nature and treated as mutants by many. These avatars tend to look like rejects from the broadway musical "Cats" (women) or werewolf-wannabes (men) or rejects from the cabana scene in Star Wars (geeky men).
• "bimbo females"... exaggerated caracatures of women that they are almost always men in real life.
• "newbee males"... almost always guys looking for cheap thrills and fetish-satisfaction. The newbee males have usually had a "sexual" experience with the bimbo females without ever realizing that they're getting it on with another man.
• "normal males"... sometimes these are "newbee males" that have moved on, sometimes they're people like I was... just exploring the world.
• "normal females"... like the "normal males", but female.

Now.. there are various and sundry sub-classes to each of the above, to be sure. But almost everyone is one of the above, at least when they start playing.

In my first few weeks in SL as a "normal male", I found that when I entered a room/night club/bar/event, I was largely ignored and invisible. Almost all conversations that I was involved in had to be initiated by me. There was the occassional "Hi Prime!" in the room-wide chat, but never a private IM to strike up a conversation.

I found out that, frankly, only the most successful and "older" (in SL time) male avatars had large circles of friends and garnered attention from others.

But it seemed that the female avatars, even the ones only days "old", were the life of the party the minute they entered a room.

There was definitely a "reverse sexism" element in SL. So I tried a little experiment. I switched my avatar to a female one.

At first... the female "Prime" was lanky and awkward looking. But you know what, it didn't seem to matter! When I entered a room full of people, at least a half-dozen private IM messages came to me saying things like "Hello there! Nice to meet you. Would you like to talk?"

I got many instant "add friend" requests from people the minute I walked in to a room. It didn't matter that I was a relatively unattractive "female". I had boobs!

But not only that... the other women in SL seemed more willing to strike up conversations with me. I was making "friends" left and right and engaging in many simultaneous conversations without even trying.

It definitely paid to be a girl in SL!

Another benefit was that I was all-of-a-sudden offered many employment opportunities. And not just as a stripper or prostitute. I got a job that paid $500L per night to just be a greeter at one of the more popular night clubs in SL at the time. The "Bad Juju Lounge".

In short, in my two weeks as a "male", not one single job offer came my way. In two days as a female, I had dozens.

Over time, I honed and crafted my female avatar until she was absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. And with that, even better offers came along.

I eventually partnered up with another female avatar (a real female, as far as I could tell) and we pooled our money and started a coffee shop....Origins Cafe. The money was rolling in, and I was considered "an extremely cool chick" by most people and had a very large circle of friends and was extremely successful. This was only 3 months into my "Second Life". This good life lasted a few months. We eventually added a comedy stage and had live stand-up comedy at the Cafe. (Second) Life was good.

The only problem was.... SL was consuming larger and larger chunks of my time and my real-life family was getting neglected. I quit the game for 6 months to "save my marriage", so to speak. I hurt a lot of people in SL when I did this... my partner couldn't run the cafe by herself and our "employees" were out of work.

I basically killed the best part of their experience in SL when I left. And I effectively ended what had become real friendships. Some of them have not forgiven me. Others have.

After a six month hiatus from SL... I decided to hop back in the past January to see what had changed. In the interim, my partner had sold our land and deposited nearly $50,000L into my avatar's account, even though I told her that any proceeds were hers. In a real way, I love that woman... Cerise Mounier was her name at the time, she has since created a new account... "Sofia". I won't reveal her new last name here.

Anyway... I became a "live music" junkie, and I've been basically a wealthy vagabond... going from live show to live show and using my L$ as tip money for the, surprisingly, very talented musicians that perform in SL. Basically, I'm like Jack Kerouac. I'm travelling around, spending my money, meeting people, but not settling down.

I'm a Second Life beatnik. ;-)

The subject of my avatar's gender has been a topic of conversation both here and in the game the past couple days. The reason I'm a female in SL (and enjoying it) is the same reason I enjoy being a male in the real world:

Because that's where the power and privilege is.

Second Life is a female's world. Male avatars have to work twice as hard to get ahead there. It's the gender "bizarro world". And it has taught me many subtle lessons about real-world sexism that I wouldn't have completely understood otherwise.

For two weeks in SL, I was a second-class citizen. Just because of my "gender".

In conclusion....

I will try to make an acceptable male avatar to use when I'm there on "Swords Crossed" business... I sense it makes some of you uncomfortable to converse with a female avatar that is really a man.

(Either that, or I'll use my "zebra" avatar and freak you all out even more. You haven't really laughed until you've seen my zebra persona try to break dance while smoking a joint.)

Please keep in mind..... you people are the only ones in SL that know my true gender. I'd appreciate it if it stayed "our little secret".

Sincerely,

Prime/Prima/Primo