Over the past eight years, I went from "I can't stand John McCain" to "I support John McCain for president". How did this change occur and why? It was a process, and it goes back eight years.

Back in the 2000 election, I thought about voting for John McCain in the Republican primaries, but pulled the lever for George W. Bush (as if voting in Washington State meant anything). Why? Because I thought Bush was the more conservative of the two. My mistake. I thought Bush had the better tax plan, and Bush seemed to have better answers on the other relevant issues of the day. Plus, talk radio helped talk me out of McCain, and the opposition to him on the airwaves was pretty much unanimous. I thought McCain's temper and temperament were less suited for the White House, and I remember him hanging up on Michael Reagan (and another radio host, can't remember who) after an uncomfortable and unfriendly exchange. I vaguely recall that McCain played the class warfare card on Bush's tax plan, which did nothing but push me further away from the Arizona Senator. When McCain was slimed in South Carolina, I thought it was just sour grapes because he lost. My mistake on that, but by then I was firmly in the other camp.

McCain pushed me further away with his anger and bitterness after Bush won, and even still further away when he pushed for McCain-Feingold. I still think the bill is the worst blot on his career, mainly because the pre-election gag rule was (and is) an affront to free speech. His chumminess with Democrats and rumors about him running with Kerry also didn't help. By 2002, I was about as unequivocally anti-McCain as anyone, and it was only tempered by his unequivocal support of Bush in the 9/11 aftermath. But then, it was politically easy to support Bush at that time, so McCain didn't get much credit for that.

I was mad about McCain-Feingold, but that irritation was equally placed on President Bush because he signed the goddam bill. Before signing it, Bush was on record as saying that he thought parts of it were unconstitutional, and this bothered me. How in good conscience could a president--a man who put his hand on the Holy Bible and swore to defend and uphold the Constitution--sign a bill that he said was unconstitutional? If anything, Bush should've been more chastised than McCain for that because McCain never went as far as saying that the bill violated the Constitution. Bush took the cowardly path by punting the legislation to the courts instead of stopping it in its tracks, and it marked one of many bad decisions this failing president has made.

But not long after McCain-Feingold, however, my detestation of McCain softened. Why? Because McCain was one of a pitifully small group of Republicans who objected to the massive increases in non-military government spending. On a Keynesian level, I can sort of understand why Bush and congressional Republicans did this, but we already passed tax cuts. Why keep priming the pump further, especially when those huge projected surpluses in 2000 disappeared so quickly? The highway bill was larded with pork (I support infrastructure construction, but not the excessive pork), and the farm bill was business welfare legislation that distorted free markets. The Medicare drug bill was dishonestly sold because the costs were dishonestly lowballed. McCain voted against all three bills, rightfully bucking his party in the process. To me, it was becoming clear that my party was going off track, and we needed some conservative voices out there to help put the GOP back onto its conservative rails.

In 2003, Bush did the non-conservative thing by instituting steel tariffs, again bucking free markets in favor of "fair" or managed trade. What happened to my party? Whatever happened to the free market principles laid out by Milton Friedman and acted upon by Reagan and Bush 41? John McCain was rightfully opposed to that stupid decision, and I remember him doing so.

In 2004, McCain started making more noises about Iraq and what we were doing there. I was with him on changing our strategy. Starting in April 2004, after reading up on some history and doctrine here and there, I came around to the idea that we needed a real counterinsurgency plan in Iraq, along the lines of the Combined Action Platoons (CAPs) in Vietnam. I wasn't with McCain yet on troop numbers.

I also thought Rumsfeld should have been replaced around the same time as Colin Powell (McCain didn't push for this). Why? Because Iraq was in a muddle, and it was difficult for me to glean what exactly we were doing and why we were doing it. I wasn't getting this important information from the Bush administration or the military establishment, and Bush and Rumsfeld were proving to be Occasional Communicators (as opposed to the Great Communicator we wanted to see). Abu Ghraib happened earlier in 2004, and while Rumsfeld was not directly responsible, it happened under his watch. For those reasons, I thought we needed new leadership in the SecDef position. McCain didn't call for Rumsfeld to leave, but he wasn't above taking the SecDef to task for the plentiful mistakes.

After Bush was reelected, I became increasingly convinced that we were lowballing our troop numbers in Iraq and I became fully convinced that we were not employing the best strategy. I also noticed that, although the media had no hesitation in reporting all the bad news that was fit to print, the happier rhetoric from the Bush administration was not squaring with the situation on the ground. Then the Golden Mosque bombing happened in February 2006, and once again we were caught flat-footed, responding too slowly to this outbreak of sectarian violence and chaos. Throughout this time, all the way up to the November 2006, McCain was one of the few Republicans who consistently challenged the Bush administration on our performance in Iraq, but the major difference between McCain and other GOPers (such as Chuck Hagel and Gordon Smith), however, was that McCain wanted us to stay in Iraq and prevail. John McCain's instincts were spot on.

Leading up to November 2006, McCain was also right that our party was losing its integrity, too often traipsing with the likes of Jack Abramoff and too often behaving like big-spending Democrats. Add a muddling Iraq to the mix and it's no wonder we lost the majority. On those three most important factors that cost us control of the legislative agenda, McCain's instints were sound, and he deserves credit for making his views publicly known.

After some long and careful thought, I came to the decision that we were mistreating detainees and that it was the wrong thing to do (except for ticking time-bomb situations a la 24, as I wrote about here ). McCain's opinions aligned perfectly with my own. I believe that we are a nation that is supposed to respect and uphold the rule of law, and that we shouldn't be lowering our standards of behavior just because our enemy is so evil and barbaric. McCain's words carried some weight (but not a lot) with me because of his own personal experiences. I know I'm probably in the minority here on this issue, but there it is.

McCain deserved further credit for fully supporting the surge strategy. At some point in 2007 (I think it was some time after he was smeared by the New York Times ), I started asking myself who's been more conservative since 2001, Bush or McCain? Who would've governed more conservatively? Judging by their records, the answer to me couldn't have been more obvious. McCain, hands down, and that's when I started taking a serious second look. When he still defended the strategy in its darkest days , my regard grew. Later on, after taking a hard look at the alternatives, I came to my decision last November and endorsed him .

I don't believe I'm under any illusions about McCain. He's old and he can be stiff-necked and cantankerous. I can't stand the class warfare rhetoric he's used. I was opposed to it in 2000 when debating tax cuts, and I reject his comments about drug companies being the bad guys. I reject his implied distrust of commerce when he said that his service in the Navy was for patriotism and not for profits. I wish he would just stop that nonsense because it is our free market economy that has sparked so many medical innovations. It also pays for his salary and our military endeavors.

McCain's made plenty of other mistakes as well, and there's no doubt that he's an imperfect candidate. But we know where he stands on the issues and he does not easily change opinions. Despite some unfair comments about Romney (and I'm sure there're other things), he has conducted himself with integrity. When he makes pledges, he has a record of sticking to them. The problem is that he has stuck to pledges that many conservatives have found distasteful, which speaks to policy differences, not character. So when he says he'll appoint judges in the mold of Roberts and Alito, and when he says that he'll prioritize securing the borders and deporting illegal immigrants who've committed felonies, I think it's reasonable to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Despite Obama's recent surge, I still believe Hillary is going to get nominated, and what better contrast than McCain and a sleazebag political machine like Hillary's. According to the RCP averages , McCain beats Hillary and is neck-and-neck with Obama, but McCain's GOP rivals lose to both Democrats by double digits. I'm not thrilled with him as a candidate, but I still believe that he embodies our best chance of moving the conservative movement forward. We know what kind of judges we'll get if Obama and Hillary are elected, and to me there is no doubt we'll get a better slate of judges if McCain is elected. But most importantly, we are a nation at war and we need the best commander-in-chief available. Because of his record on Iraq and War Against Militant Islamism in general, I still maintain that McCain is the best man for the job.

I'm also going to say this. If enough conservatives vote for someone else or leave their ballots blank or stay home, you might as well just pull the lever for Obama or Hillary, because such acts (or non acts) will have the same practical effect. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still think we lose by losing and win by winning. In either case, conservatives can still work within the party to move the party in a conservative direction.

For the record, I'm a moderate conservative . Over two years ago, I wrote about where conservatives should be , and I'm still pretty much there.